


Letters from dust.

by giuly_27



Category: Elyza Lex (Fanverse), Fear the Walking Dead (TV), The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Long-Distance Relationship, Post-Apocalypse, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 15:40:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12213828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giuly_27/pseuds/giuly_27
Summary: In a post apocalyptic world there is no space for hope. Alicia is far away and Elyza is trying so hard not to fall apart. They write each other letters and here I am, showing those letters to you, ready to tell you their story.





	Letters from dust.

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Letters from dust.](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/326304) by mj27. 



> Hi everybody! This is my first work here on AO3. I usually write in Italian, but I thought it was time for me to make my international debut. This is my first work in english, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes. My friends and I worked so hard to translate this fic the best way we could, but we know there is always room for improvement. 
> 
> Sharkie, if you are reading, thank you, you're the best beta I could ask for. Francesca, you were my lifesaver, this work belongs also to you.
> 
> Enjoy :)

_\---_

 

 

_Dear Alicia,_

_I’ve lost count of the days that have_ _passed since your departure._

_In this world without deadlines, obligations or the will to wake up to see the dawn of a new day, it’s so easy to lose the sense of time._

_What's the point in knowing what day is today?_

_Tomorrow will be the same: we will try to wake up to see the sun rises just one more time._

_Do not believe me when I say that I don’t know how much time has passed since the last time I saw you. With the pocketknife you gave me before you left, I signed a notch for every sun that has risen since you started your journey._

_The notches are 42._

_I’d like to know where you are, it will help me imagine and remember you._

_If I knew where you are, I would send you these letters I found myself writing every day. But in this burnt world, there isn’t a postal service that could deliver them._

_If I knew where you are, I would bring you my words personally. I would bring those simple thoughts I cannot understand without you here helping me to order them. I would read them to you and you would listen, but you’re not here anymore to help me analyse them._

_You will come back to me, right?_

_Here in the Colony every day goes by like the day before. Every day there is a field to plough, something to pick, someone to cure. Every day the Cleaning Group goes a little further in order to purify the zone, and every day we move a little further the fence that keep us safe and sound._

_We expand our boundaries more and more every day, away from the Persistent Death, and once in a while we find someone that didn’t know there was still something to hope for._

_And you? Do you still have hope?_

_Without you here, I find it difficult to believe, to find motivation, to pretend that in the end there is still something to hope for._

_It wasn’t my intention to bother you with those thoughts of mine, Alicia, but not seeing your eyes becomes harder and harder every day._

_I miss you and this won’t change tomorrow, like if in this life something could really change._

_I hug you tight and I hope you can feel me next to you tonight._

_Elyza_

 

_*_

 

Dear Elyza,

The days would pass more easily but I can't bear this journey away from home anymore.

Our truck grinds mile after mile and every time it stops, we are forced to walk for miles on foot, searching for some cars to dry in this endless desert of sand, and then, once we find something, we come back and we bring our tired truck to life again.

We follow a road that spreads straight and slim until the horizon, like an arrow. We follow this road to be sure of finding some abandoned cars and every time we need it, we take their shell like we were jackals.

We are like them, you know? Jackals. Always searching for something dead that belongs to no one and when we find it, we make it ours with greedy, force, necessity.

Before the Wandering Death there was so many things that we could call “ours” without even notice how important they were: we had everything we needed, ready, shiny and new.

Now there is nothing, Elyza. Nothing worths in those poor surroundings.

I could find half million dollar on the ground and I would still burn all those money to warm me up tonight, or to scare away the animals and to keep away the errands. Think about how our vision of life has changed. Think about every reckless things that we would have done if we had found a half million dollars when the dollars still worthed something.

I would have bought you a star with that money; a star and a manor; a manor with a swimming pool, one with the sea-view.

The manor would have been on a hill and from the patio we would have seen the sea and everything would have seemed infinite. Between the blue of the swimming pool, the blue of the ocean and the light blue of the sky, everything would have been perfect. Everything would have been so infinite that it would have seemed fake, but we probably wouldn’t have noticed, too busy kissing in that swimming pool in our manor on the hill.

Who knows if that manor with a swimming pool and a sea view truly exists. If it existed, would you stay there with me?

I know, it seems like one of the silly question that only children do: sign a cross on the yes or no and tell me, would you live with me in a manor with a swimming pool, even if now it worths nothing except for us? We would be powerful and indestructible, as we would kiss in that swimming pool.

I go crazy not knowing your answer, but don’t worry, as soon as the order will be restored, we’ll find a place where we belong. I promise you. I still have hope. Until I have you, I will have hope.

Our truck is tired again, but unlike it, we are full of energy.

Think about me between one patient and the other. You are in every step I take toward the unknown.

Alicia.

 

*

 

_Alicia,_

_today I was scared._

_There was a breach in the northwest part of the fence and we were exposed all night long. The guards didn’t notice the fault in our defence and we were attacked. We were stabbed in our back and the only thing we had done was suffer like beaten blinded horses._

_There are seven new graves in the cemetery. The errands that feasted upon our healthy bodies are now ashes and their carbonized limbs have kept away others like them, tonight. It is funny, isn’t it? The same who attacked us are burning and representing a warning to the others._

_They were ashes and now they are ashes again._

_Do they understand us? Do they feel something when they see their own people perish?_

_Your brother believed that, he used to see something inside them. I’m sorry to say that, but I can’t see anything in them._

_There’s a little boy among the injured. Luckily he wasn’t bitten, but he’s not doing well. He is so tiny that nobody noticed him while the chaos flare up in the colony and everyone was looking for a shelter._

_They walked on him, Alicia, like he was part of the ground, like he was a marble tile on a geometric floor. They left him on the ground like useless rubbish._

_He’s intubated now; he has some fractured ribs and broken bones. He’s swollen and covered with bruises and scratches. These painful marks seem like marble streaks._

_They entrust me with him even if I haven’t finished my apprenticeship yet._

_I’m sure they decided this way because they don’t believe he’s going to survive, because as the hours go by his heartbeat becomes more and more weak, while my heart pumps like crazy in my chest as if it was a wild bull._

_I don’t want him to die. I couldn’t stand to lose him. I couldn’t stand to dig the eight grave near the ones excavated and covered today._

_He’s alone, same as me._

_What if I told you that I want him to live? That I’m praying anybody above us to listen to me and help me, would you believe me? Would you pray with me for a miracle in this dead and motionless life?_

_If he lived, he and I would be alone together._

_He’s not moving._

_Elyza._

 

_*_

Elyza,

Today we found other sane people. We travelled so much these past days and every miles left behind us were added to the ones we already covered.

I can assure you, after this adventure, I will not want to see the desert ever again, not even in a postcard. It’s all the same, always with the same taste, the same smell. It has become nauseous to me.

When we went back to the road this morning, we were sure this would have been another day of approaching.

 _To what?_ I imagine you moving your head and ask me. To what, I don’t know. We live every day as if we are reaching our destination, but we know too well that there’s no destination. But we have a purpose, Ely. It’s our vocation: we want to find other human beings, alive, healthy, alone, to embrace and take to our colony.

We didn’t find anyone yet.

How many days have passed since we left? I think it’s been almost two months… my hair has grown and my hair tips are now completely blonde. The sun and the wind are winning against them. My skin is tanned and if you could see me now, I know you would look at me with your blue eyes filled with love like you haven’t seen something so beautiful ever.

To me, that something is you.

We were all serious today. When you spend so much time on the road with someone, you don’t want to talk all the time. We talked so much at the beginning that now, we have nothing left to say.

We talked enough for a lifetime.

Actually, we were tired.

Even if we have a purpose, even if we do this because we feel that’s right, not finding someone in so long has consumed us day by day.

Our journey, this going and going and going, has become mechanic.

Where are we going? I can see in my companions’ eyes that we are lying, pretending this is fine, pretending that everything is exactly like it was supposed to be.

It was a moment, and over the sound of the engine of this old truck, we heard something different, something different from our sounds.

They are 8 people: 3 men, 3 women and a little girl. They’re tired, faded, burnt by the impetuous sun, but they’re alive and healthy.

You’d be proud of me knowing that I was the one on the lookout when we saw them. I can picture your eyes filling up with happiness imagining that I was there in that moment. That is because of me if they are now travelling with us, restored and refreshed and rehydrated.

The errands of the desert haven’t found them for all this time, and if this is not a miracle, I really don’t know how to call it.

I miss you, today more than ever because I’m happy, because I can feel inside me a new sparkle of motivation, a new strength, a new wave of lifeblood.

I wish you were here so I could hold you tight. So I could feel you beside me.

Alicia

 

*

 

_Ali,_

_he’s awake. The child. He opened his eyes. He’s alive._

_I cried tears of happiness when it happened._

_I’ve heard the world’s clock starts to tick again, life starting to flow around me, the heart moving once again._

_I was keeping my breath with him._

_For a week, he remained still. The only movement confirming he was still with me was the weak up and down of his chest. An artificial pump that pushed clean air in his lungs helped it._

_My daily routine was simple: every morning I checked his wrist, heartbeat, eye reflexes, respiratory airways, the heat of his extremities, the outer bag._

_Every day was the same._

_Today, instead, I saw a leap of life in his eyes. His heartbeat was stronger, his skin tone healthier. He’s awake, Ali, somebody up there listened to me and now he’s awake._

_He still can’t move and we have to sedate him most of time to ease the pain he suffers, but now, nothing can stop me from being free to feel light and wish to fly over the clouds._

_If I flown, I would fly to you, but I don’t think I need to say this, because you already know._

_Am I too sappy? I know you still blush in front of certain lines. I know that my sincerity embarrasses you, but I know you love me for this. I’m smooth enough for the both of us and I’m not afraid to give voice to this feeling, a feeling that both of us feel._

_You prove me your love in your gestures, in your kindness, in your looks._

_I miss your looks, your breaths. I miss your touch, your soft fingertips on my body, your hair. Your weight on me and the sounds you murmur in my ears. It’s hard to feel certain emotions if you’re not here to make me feel them._

_He’s sleeping now and I, in order to not think of you, I tell him a story._

_He listens to me, I think. He’s not in a coma, he sleeps, so he can listen to my voice and I hope this will help him trusting me when the pain will disappear and he will be conscious._

_He has no one left alive. It’s only me. I believe he needs to be tied to me somehow._

_I’m telling him a new tale, a tale that is spontaneous springing inside my heart._

_I’m telling him about a clan that flown in the space to find luck and escape this world._

_About how, even surrounded by stars, they didn’t solve their problems and how they decided to sacrifice their youth and came back to earth._

_About how those children found themselves in a ruthless world, so similar to their previous one, if not worse._

_About how is impossible to live without rules, about how we must have a purpose._

_I’m telling him how much friendship and family are important, how you feel hopeless when you take the life of someone you love._

_I’m telling him about how impulsive gestures led to atrocious consequences, how it is impossible to even think, for a second, about living without the ghosts of the past._

_I’m telling him how two colours can meet and create fireworks, how two shapes can collide and catch fire, burn up and vanish in the dark._

_I’m telling him how the forest and the sky meet each other in the horizon and mingle, so incompatible and yet, so inevitable._

_I’m telling him about a forbidden love, a love hindered by the belonging of different people, a love obstructed by responsibilities._

_I’m telling him how blood can be a burden._

_I’m telling him about the pain, the kind of pain that destroys you, the kind of pain that make you a ghost, the one that make you feel nothing at all._

_I’m telling him about the green and the blue._

_Maybe I’m telling him about us._

_About everything we could’ve been if we weren’t who we are._

_Come back please. I need you to not die. I need you to feel something again._

_Elyza._

 

_*_

 

Ely,

I’m heading back home. I’m coming back to you.

How much time did it pass, my love? Too much. There isn’t a different answer to this question, because every second apart from you leaves me breathless, without direction, without gravity.

We are coming home and we are so many.

I laugh when I think about my mother and Victor and the expressions they will make when they will see everything we had done, how many people we have saved.

This was the hardest journey of my life; sometimes the sense of defeat and stillness was insurmountable.

And the road, the infinite road that seemed to have no end, in the end, it did end.

Nothing is impossible my love, there is nothing we can’t face.

To the death, there will always be new life, to the aridity, there will always be new water and we, we will rise from the ashes of this cruel life.

We will find our light at the end of the tunnel. I will see my light soon, I will see it in you.

We are now travelling through every mile we left behind us at the beginning, and we are travelling faster, with more expectations, with frenzy.

Our eyes have changed, our throats are singing again. Now, we talk. With the newcomers, we talk about themselves and ourselves.

We talk about you people, about everything we conquered and about what is left to conquer.

We found the hope we were looking for.

Until it will remain a single beating heart in this world, there will be hope.

_What do we do now?_

I have no idea. I know I’m coming back, I know that I will see you soon, hug you soon, that I’ll be able to kiss you and kiss you again, as I dreamt every night, every day, every second.

I know that I will stop my journey for a moment, or forever.

Or maybe never.

If I travelled again, would you come with me? Next mission could require a doctor and you would be the best choice.

 _Who said that?_ I can picture you asking me. _I_ say that, and I know I can’t be objective, but there is no one in this world that could be seen as I see you.

Staying in the colony wouldn’t be so bad either, there is always something to do, and I could find my place there. I could teach, I could shape young minds, I could do something meaningful even there.

Do you see me raising kids? Now that I think about it, I think that yes, I see myself rounded by dreamy, little children. They’d listens the stories I could tell them, they’d hug me happily and lean on me to answers their whys.

By this point of view, this sick world doesn’t seem so bad anymore.

Maybe it’s because I’m finally coming home, or maybe it’s because of the sun that shines in the sky and the voices that are happily rising from the truck.

Maybe it’s because you will read all my words and will laugh soon.

Now I know that whatever happens, when I’ll come back, you will be there for me and I will come back to you.

 

A.

 

\---

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> As I said at the beginning, english isn't my first language and I could really use some help. I have feelings that the first letter is a little bit uneasy to read. I can't understand why, but there is something "wrong".  
> I would love to know your opinions, so please leave comments or kudos, it will make me very happy.
> 
> Love,  
> giuly_27


End file.
